A Martyr Tonight
by dayglo1
Summary: I suck at these things, just read. G/C & N/S


Title: A Martyr Tonight  
  
Summary: I know you don't want to hear what I say/ I know you're gonna keep turning away/ But I've been there and if I can survive/ I can keep you alive/ I'm not above going through it again  
  
Pairing: Grissom/Catherine, Nick/Sara  
  
Author's Notes: This isn't connected to my Choices series, although I swear the last chapter will be up soon, hopefully by this weekend. This is just something that popped into my head while listening to my Billy Joel cd. Also, this is my first attempt at Nick/Sara, so if they're way OOC, I apologize in advance. The song An Innocent Man is by Billy Joel. One more thing: this is pretty angsty, but as anyone who has read my stories knows, I have a serious inability for writing fluff. Hope you enjoy anyway!  
  
Feedback: Makes me very, very happy  
  
Archive: Sure, just let me know  
  
  
Some people stay far away from the door   
If there's a chance of it opening up   
  
  
Sara had opened her car door and was just about to get in when Nick's voice stopped her. "Hey, Sara"  
  
She turned around, "yeah?"  
  
"Do you want to go grab some breakfast?"  
  
She sighed, he'd been trying to spend more time with her lately, and she'd kept on pushing him away. It wasn't that she wasn't interested in trying something with him, she was, but she had learned her lesson a long time ago. She wasn't going to get burned again. She smiled wanly at him, "thanks Nick, but I think I'm just going to go home".  
  
  
They hear a voice in the hall outside   
And hope that it just passes by   
  
  
Catherine was in the breakroom finishing the last of the paperwork when she heard Grissom's voice in the hall talking to someone, possibly Warrick. She kept her head down and tried to concentrate on her work, hoping he wouldn't notice her. "Hey, Catherine, do you want to go grab some breakfast?" She sighed, no such luck.  
  
  
Some people live with the fear of a touch   
And the anger of having been a fool   
They will not listen to anyone   
So nobody tells them a lie   
  
  
Sara was about to get in the car again when she was stopped by a gentle touch on her shoulder. Instinctively, she flinched away from the hand and whirled around to see the hurt look in Nick's eyes at her reaction. She felt bad, but she wasn't going to get close to him, she wouldn't allow herself to. Nick opened his mouth to say something, but she abruptly cut him off with, "See ya later, Nick", and climbed into her car, shutting the door between them.  
  
  
I know you're only protecting yourself   
I know you're thinking of somebody else   
Someone who hurt you   
But I'm not above   
Making up for the love   
You've been denying you could ever feel   
I'm not above doing anything   
To restore your faith if I can   
  
  
Grissom had been trying to do more things with her lately, and more often than not, Catherine had rebuffed him. It wasn't that she didn't want to, but she couldn't. Gil had been there during Eddie, and in too many ways, he was connected to him in her mind. It wasn't his fault, and there was nothing he could do about it, but it's the way it was. But somehow, Grissom had seemed to understand, and had patiently continued asking her out, hoping eventually she'd say yes. No matter how long it took, he was willing to wait.  
  
  
Some people see through the eyes of the old   
Before they ever get a look at the young   
  
  
Sara sighed as she drove to her house. She'd never been any good at interpersonal relationships, had never known how to relate to people. She'd grown up too fast and hadn't learned how to deal. As much as she cared about Nick, she didn't know how to act on it, how to accept it as something that was okay.  
  
  
I'm only willing to hear you cry   
Because I am an innocent man   
  
  
Catherine sighed as she entered her house. Grissom had been there for her through everything, from her days as a stripper and drug addict, to her tumultuous marriage, and the aftermath that followed. She couldn't even count the number of times he had held her as she cried, never asking for anything in return.  
  
  
I am an innocent man   
Oh yes I am   
  
  
The next night at the end of shift, Nick again approached Sara. But before he could say a word, she was out the door and running towards her car. She didn't want to hear what he had to say. Disappointed, he headed to his own car.  
  
  
Some people say they will never believe   
Another promise they hear in the dark   
Because they only remember too well   
They heard somebody tell them before   
  
  
After shift, Catherine took Lindsey to school, then returned home, slumping onto the couch. She noticed the light flashing on her answering machine. She hit the play button and closed her eyes. They snapped open again when she heard Grissom's voice, "Cath…". She reached over and pressed erase before it could continue.  
  
  
Some people sleep all alone every night   
Instead of taking a lover to bed   
  
  
When she returned home, Sara went straight to bed, but couldn't sleep. Instead she tossed and turned, unable to get Nick out of her mind.  
  
  
Some people find that it's easier to hate   
Than to wait anymore   
  
  
That night at work, Catherine was in a foul mood, snapping at everyone. At times, her remarks to Grissom were downright cruel. It was easier for her to distance herself from him this way.  
  
  
I know you don't want to hear what I say   
I know you're gonna keep turning away   
But I've been there and if I can survive   
I can keep you alive   
  
  
That night, Sara and Nick were assigned to work a case together. Sara spent the entire time trying to ignore him, and he let her.   
  
  
I'm not above going through it again   
I've not above being cool for a while   
If you're cruel to me I'll understand   
  
  
Although much of what Catherine had said to him that night hurt, Grissom never said anything. He knew her better than he knew anyone else, and he knew this was her way of keeping from getting hurt.  
  
  
Some people run from a possible fight   
Some people figure they can never win   
And although this is a fight I can lose   
The accused is an innocent man   
  
  
Nick knew he'd let Sara run for as long as she needed to. He'd wait. No matter how long it took, he'd wait, even if it meant losing her to someone else, for awhile.  
  
  
I am an innocent man   
Oh yes I am   
An innocent man   
  
  
He'd wait. Whatever it took, he'd wait for Catherine to make her way back to him, to them. She always had before, and he still held out hope that she would again this time.  
  
  
You know you only hurt yourself out of spite   
I guess you'd rather be a martyr tonight   
That's your decision   
But I'm not below   
Anybody I know   
  
  
When shift ended, Sara quickly gathered her things and got ready to dash out. Nick's voice stopped her, "Sara…". Reluctantly, she turned around. He smiled at her, "good night". Giving him a watery smile in return, she turned back to the door and ran to her car, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay.  
  
  
If there's a chance of resurrecting a love   
I'm not above going back to the start   
To find out where the heartache began   
  
  
There had been a time once before when they had thought they could possibly be more than friends, but, like now, Catherine had run. Eventually, she had come back around to their friendship, and things had been fine. Now, he wanted to try again.  
  
  
Some people hope for a miracle cure   
  
  
Sara threw her things onto her couch. She wished with all her might that she could be brave enough to face this, and not just run away.  
  
  
Some people just accept the world as it is   
  
  
Catherine watched as Lindsay headed into the school. She hated doing this to Grissom, but as far as she was concerned, she had no choice. It was just the way things were.  
  
  
But I'm not willing to lay down and die   
Because I am an innocent man   
  
  
That night at work, Nick smiled at Sara and said hello, then went to work on his case. He'd wait.  
  
  
I am an innocent man   
Oh yes I am   
  
  
That night at work, Grissom acted as though the night before had never happened and got down to business. He'd wait.  
  
  
An innocent man  
  
Finis 


End file.
